Category Archives: An exploration in Apophasis and Cataphasis through the lens of Lent

Mystic at the Movies: Everything Everywhere All At Once: Part I: Identity

Mystic at the Movies is my every-now-and-again deep dive into nondualism, contemplation, mysticism, and second-half-of-life spirituality as they appear in some of my favorite films.  

One of the movies that helped inspire me to begin writing Mystic at the Movies was the amazing, transcendent, profane, surprising, absurd, heart-breaking and hilarious Everything Everywhere All at Once.  EEAAO (as it will be called for the rest of this piece of writing) is the story of a family of Chinese Immigrants attempting to do the hard soul work of being the best people they can be.  It is also a multiversal martial arts epic.  And an existentialist comedy that is very, very nsfw.  The rest of this piece will contain numerous spoilers.  And to be honest, probably won’t be that interesting if you haven’t actually seen the film.  The movie is available at the normal venues for paid rent/sale (Amazon, You Tube, et. al.)  It is also streaming on showtime’s service.  (Hot tip: there’s not that many interesting offerings in Showtime other than EEAAO but they seem to be offering your first month for free.)

One of the first questions for me about EEAAO is just where the writers were coming from, spiritually and philosophically.  Interviews with the Writers-Directors who go by the name ‘Daniels’ are not hard to find.  They have appeared on numerous podcasts, print interviews, etc.  They even published a coffee table book available through their production company’s website with a variety of supplementary information.  

The weird thing is that though spirituality seems to be a HUGE subtext of the movie, it doesn’t seem like they are very interested in talking about that.  The book, podcasts, and interviews have tackled many interesting topics, but it doesn’t seem that the spiritual side of it all is high on their list of priorities to discuss.  I’m not sure if this lack of discussion implies a disinterest on the part of the interviewers, a reluctance to “go there” on the part of The Daniels, or something else entirely.  Regardless of the cause, we will have to approach this subject without much explicit commentary from the creators themselves.

There are many themes that are worth investigating here and I look forward to exploring questions around topics like the nature of God, good, and evil in future installments of Mystic at the Movies.  An issue foundational to all of these are the questions of identity and boundaries.    

It shouldn’t be terribly surprising that these concerns are fundamental to mysticism.  A reasonable definition of mysticism would want to center itself on questions of identity.  For me, the best way of defining  mysticism is as a fundamental skepticism that things are as independent, separate, and isolated from each other as they appear to be.  In other words, the boundaries between us are slippery resulting in a universe where we are fundamentally one.    

There are so many examples of confused, overlapping, and nontraditional boundaries in EEAAO  that it can be difficult to know where to begin.  We might start at the very widest level possible and observe that on the level of plot and theme, this film is a dizzying hodgepodge of genre, tropes, and mood.  Wikapedia seems to agree.  The  article discussing EEAAO describes it as “absurdist science fiction comedy drama.”  It’s hard to imagine many genre that this movie couldn’t be filed under.

We could continue in this vein and note that even the title promises us something with a universal, boundary-crossing significance.  We might make the more nuanced observation that the film can’t even completely stay within the boundaries of being a fictional story and in a few strange and powerful ways, it transcends the boundaries between fiction and nonfiction.

The most obvious examples of the fiction/non-fiction boundary crossing comes in the form of the universe where Evelyn is a movie star.  Some of the footage shown of the character’s famous existence is actually repurposed footage from the life of the actress playing Evelyn.   The nonfiction aspect of the movie is further toyed with in not one but two separate scenes which remind us that everything that we are watching is a film.  Not only do we find ourselves sitting with the famous Evelyn in a theatre, where the cinematography is arranged to give the illusion that we are in the same theatre with her, we also get a scene, right after intense action, where we find that this was nothing more than an action scene; suddenly we see the cameras and crew.  These scenes have a strange effect on the viewer.  There comes a sense of “we were in the made-up world of fiction, but now, the narrative has come to exist in our real world.”

(It is not insignificant to note that EEAAO was originally written for Jackie Chan to be the protagonist.  When Michelle Yeoh was cast, the protagonist’s name was initially also Michelle.  Thus, from the very beginning, a link between the character and the actress existed firmly in the writers’ minds.)

As we consider the plot, we can find dozens of further examples of boundary crossings.  Within the first few scenes of the film, we find that the Wangs struggles include: navigating the boundaries between personal time and business needs; navigating the boundaries of respecting elder generations and honoring the lived reality of younger generations, navigating the boundary between friends and family, navigating the line between being healthy assertive with a spouse with out over doing it.  Even one aspects of the Wang’s tax problem seems to be related to failing to navigate the boundaries between profession and hobbies.

It might be convincingly argued that transgression of boundaries on it’s own is not sufficient to demonstrate a thing has mystical roots.  Transgression of boundaries is also, for example, considered to be a component of both post modernity and queerness.  While I suspect fruitful explorations of both these elements within EEAAO might be conducted, there are several aspects of the film that mark the boundary crossings as uniquely mystical.

There are important distinctions between how mysticism, queerness, and post modernity view the crossing of boundaries.  This seems like a topic an entire book might explore.  But for our purposes here, let’s begin with the fact that queerness tends to view distinctions like male and female as social constructs that a person should feel free to ignore.  Post modernity is more descriptive than prescriptive, observing that a sign of the age we find ourselves in is that the traditional distinctions between things is breaking down.  Mysticism is unique among these three ways of being.  It is more radical, generally, than the other two.  Mysticism won’t be satisfied until everything is one.   Like queerness, the boundary-transcendence is prescriptive.  Unlike queerness, the boundary-transcendence goes beyond humanity.

Jobu Tupeki’s “bagel with everything.”  is of course, a pun.  A person could go to a deli and order such a thing, and they would expect that there are many different flavors and seasonings to it.  The “everything” in Jobu’s bagel is much more inclusive.   It is a mystic’s “everything.”

Moreover, when Evelyn finally comes to an understanding of the way the universe is, she takes one of Waymond’s googly eyes and places it on her forehead.  This motion is equal parts profoundity and silliness.  The profundity arises from the fact that a third eye, imagined to be right where Evelyn placed the decoration, is a common mystical symbol of awakening.  The silliness of the situation, arises, of course, from the fact that it’s a cheap bauble, a craft supply.  

To reiterate: this is a clear example of the boundary transgressions that are explicitly mystical.  But it runs deeper than the mere presence of a third eye.  It seems that the sorts of things Evelyn seems to suddenly awaken to is that all the aspects of her various selves, scattered across the universe, can reside within her. 

This is, of course, familiar mystical territory.

Sometimes the language is prescribed by the spiritual tradition.  But some of these traditions’ terms and phrases have migrated into the broader vocabulary of mysticism as a whole.  So we hear that the concern is between self and Self; or “I” and “Thou” or “small self” and “Large self” or “true self” and “false self.”

Looking at these various designations, we find ourselves in a space that is rather appropriate for a consideration on mysticism.  Because we began with a rather distinct and specific idea.  We considered the question of identity.  But now, we find ourselves in some intersection with so many other topics, themes, and ideas.  Rather appropriately, the individual differences have faded back and we find ourselves facing collapsing boundaries.

For example, especially as potrayed in the film, a single “person” who has managed to embrace all of their various identities has suddenly become something more like God than a human.  Rather fittingly, we began with a journey inward and find ourselves staring right at God.  Meister Eckhart would be pleased, I think to imagine this– that even as we stare at God, we find ourselves, being God, staring at us.  

Weirdly interrelated to the question of individual identity and attaining Godhood is the question of Good and Evil.  Doctrinal religion frequently offers up a clear and dualistic list of what is right and what is wrong.   Intertwined with this is a view of the world in terms of us vs them.  Finally, an individual who inhabits such a world finds himself having to choose between and among identities.  Within a Christian environment, for example, a person endorses the picture of themselves as chaste or temperate.  They focus and own and select the aspects of themselves which reinforce this picture.  

EEAAO flexes it’s mystic muscles by proclaiming the adoption of all the versions of ourselves.  Contemporary mystic Richard Rohr has made famous the phrase “everything belongs.”  This is a representation of a fundamental belief of mystics stretching all the way back.  When Joy and Evelyn are willing to take all the pieces of themselves in, they embody this principle.

There are so very many rich questions worth exploring here.  I hope you will share some of your thoughts here, and I will plan to come back and share some more of mine.  This is fitting, too, though; mystics do love their questions, their journeys and their processes.  Let’s continue on that journey together.

Installment #2 of Mystic at the Movies goes deeper into the nature of Identity in EEAAO; we explore the journey of integration. Click here to read it.

Instalmment #3 of Mystic at the Movies focuses on the relationship between Evelyn, Joy, and Jobu. You can find it it here.

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Palm Sunday Email for the Apophatic-Cataphatic Exploration

This is from the Palm Sunday Email on the Lenten  email exploration of the Cataphatic-Apophatic.  If you would like to receive the last couple emails in this series, email otherjeffcampbell7@gmail.com

Palm Sunday is celebrated one week before Easter.  It is a commemoration of Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem.
Today’s spiritual exercise combines elements of Lectio Divina (Sacred Reading) and visualization.  This is a very cataphatic practice, dependent, as it is, on the words.
This practice begins with a reading of the entry in each of the four gospels.  It is rather lengthy and cumulative in nature.  I invite you to go as far and deep as you desire.  Particularly if you are going to return to this practice daily (the next email will arrive Wednesday) you might wish to stop at some point along the way each day, and go a bit further each day you return to it.

The Exercise:

  1. Find a comfortable space.  Inhale.  Exhale.
    2.   Read Mathew 21: 1-11.  The NIV translation is below.  If you prefer a different translation, by all means use that one.  As you read this first account, simply read for an over-arching understanding.

They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. 8 A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road.9 The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna[b] to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[c]

“Hosanna[d] in the highest heaven!”

10 When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

11 The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”

  1. Take another deep breath.  Read the second account: Mark 11: 1-11.  This time, try and furnish the details of what it might have looked like.  Take a moment to create this image in your mind and really see the colors and surroundings. 

When they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks over it, he sat on it. 8 Many people spread their cloaks on the road, while others spread branches they had cut in the fields. 9 Those who went ahead and those who followed shouted,

“Hosanna![a]”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[b]

“Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

11 Jesus entered Jerusalem and went into the temple courts.

4.  As you read the following passage from Luke, 19: 28-44  do your best to hear the sounds.  Imagine the tone, volume, and timbre of the voices as they say these things.  Place other sounds in the scene.  Try and add this to the picture you formed from the last reading.   It is not important that your imagining is historically accurate.

They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. 36 As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road.

37 When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen:

38

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”[b]

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

39 Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

40 “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

41 As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it.

  1. Take a deep breath in and out.    As you read the following account (which comes from John 12:12-19) place yourself somewhere within the scene.   Furnish sensations of smell, touch and taste:  Imagine the temperature, the texture of your clothes on your skin.  Consider the scents that might be in the air or the residue of flavors left on your tongue in such a scene.
    The next day the great crowd that had come for the festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. 13 They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting,

“Hosanna![d]”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[e]

“Blessed is the king of Israel!”

14 Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, as it is written:

15

“Do not be afraid, Daughter Zion;

   see, your king is coming,

   seated on a donkey’s colt.”[f]

16 At first his disciples did not understand all this. Only after Jesus was glorified did they realize that these things had been written about him and that these things had been done to him.

17 Now the crowd that was with him when he called Lazarus from the tomb and raised him from the dead continued to spread the word.18 Many people, because they had heard that he had performed this sign,went out to meet him. 19 So the Pharisees said to one another, “See, this is getting us nowhere. Look how the whole world has gone after him!”

  1. Breathe again, deeply.
    7.  Ask God if there is anything you should be noticing from these accounts.
    8.  Re-read one or more of them.  Spend some time with God on what you might be meant to learn, here.
    9.  Take another breath.
    10.  Now, see a second layer to this whole passage.  View the donkey as a symbol of the disciplines and practices you use to get closer to God.  (Disciplines and practices can be formal, like this exercise.  Or informal, like the act of loving the people around you.)  See the city of Jerusalem as a symbol of your heart: this is also a place Jesus makes a triumphant entry into.  All those laying down their cloaks and palm fronds, and cheering are the people who have had a role in shaping who you are and where you are today.  Re-envision this, either in your imagaination or by re-reading this account.  But replace the faces of the crowd with the people who have loved and supported you; see that donkey as all the things you do to get closer to God; see the city of Jerusalem as a stand-in for you.  Replay this scene in your imagination, with the senses fully engaged.  Or re-read one of the accounts.
    11.  After Jesus’ entry into the city, spend some time in quiet communion.
     

     

    ______________________________________________________________________________________You can help in turning The Faith-ing Project into a fully functioning community.  You can do this in several ways:

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    • email otherjeffcampbell7@gmail.com to share something directly with the Project’s Director, to join our next email campaign, or to ask to be placed on the mailing list.
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    • follow @faithingproject on twitter.

8th Email Exploration

The story goes that Saint Francis would pass through entire nights asking, “Who am I, God?”  and “Who are you, God?”
There is no record of precisely how he did this.  Today’s exercise is just one possible way to go about it, and the notes below the practice give a few suggestions of alterations that are worth considering.
Today’s practice is entirely word-based.  In that sense it is more on the cataphatic side of the spectrum.  Just as centering prayer sometimes employs words to release our thoughts, this practice uses words to help bring us face-to-face with how little we know.  In this sense, this practice is quite apophatic.  In some ways, this is the most apopathic of all the practices we will engage; the next email will be slightly more embracing of the light and trusting of our ability to speak and comprehend the divine.
1.  Sit in a posture which balances being comfortable and alert.
2.  Inhale.
3.  Exhale.
4.  With your next inhale, ask the question, “Who am I, God?”
5.  With your next exhale, ask the question, “Who are you, God?”
6.  Continue this pattern for the bulk of the time you had set aside for this practice today.
7.  When you are ready, release the questions.  Continue your deep breaths.
8.  If you wish, explore what new answers you might have to those two important questions.  Consider whether the questions mean something new.  Ask yourself in what ways you come to feel that those two questions’ answers might be related.

There are many ways to alter these exercises.  Some of these alterations can revolve around the breath.  For example, you might ask the question, “Who are you, God?” on the inhale.  You might ask the question, “Who am I, God?” on the exhale.  You could also hold the breath for a moment, and consider the first question after the inhale, and consider the second question after the exhale.
It also brings a different air to this practice to separate the questions.  Ask, “Who am I, God?” With each breath for the first half of your practice and “Who are you, God?” for the second half of your practice.

Day 7 of the Lenten Exploration

We began with the first two steps of apophatic meditation in our last exercise.  These can be a little easier than the 3rd and final step.
As you might recall, the first step is an affirmation.  For example, “God is a warrior.”
The second step is a negation, “God is not a warrior.”

Today’s step– the hard part– is to negate the negation.  For example, “God is not-not a warrior.”

My experience is that like many paradoxes, trying to understand this from a bunch of different angles can be valuable:
One way to think about this is to consider the idea that we might say “I am doing well.”  We might then say, “I am not doing well.”  In many ways, this would be similar to saying, “I am unwell.”  Therefore, if we said, “I am not-not doing well.”  it would have some parallels to saying “I am not unwell.”
In logical systems, this sort of double negation is seen as the same thing as the original positive statement.  The two negatives cancel each other out.   However, it’s worth noticing that there is a subtle, hard to describe difference when we are talking.  Saying “I am not unwell.”  is a little different than saying “I am doing well.”
Finally, this exercise is one which faces us with the limits of all language.  Especially when relating to the divine.  If the words of the affirmation are never completely true, than the words of the negation are never completely true either.

Background: At the bottom of this page are a few reminders on ways to modify this practice.

The Practice:
1.  Sit comfortably.
2.  Inhale, deeply.  Feel your belly expand.
3.  Exhale, deeply.  Feel your belly pull in toward your spine.
4.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is father.”
5.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not father.”
6.  With your next inhale, Think or say, “God is not-not father.”
7.    With your next exhale, Think or say “God is mother”
8.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is not mother.”
9.  With your next exhale, Think or say, “God is not-not mother.”
10.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is love.”
11.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not love”
12.  With your next inhale, think or say “God is not-not love.”
13.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is a warrior”
14.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is not a warrior.”
15,  With your next exhale, think or say, “God is not-not a warrior.”
16.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is just..”
17.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not just.”
18.  With your next inhale, think or say, “God is not-not just.”
19.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is in me.”
20.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is not in me.”
21.  With your next exhale, think or say, “God is not-not in me.”
22.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is outside of me.”
23.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not outside of me”
24.  With your next inhale, think or say, “God is not-not outside of me.”
18.  You may wish to add your own.  Or repeat some, or all of these statements.  When you are ready, sit in worldess communion,

Remember that you can alter two different aspects of these sentences.  If the subject–  God– does not connect with you, you might substitute in some other word.  For example, “Spirit is a warrior.”  “Jesus is a warrior”  etc.  You can also alter the objects, for example, “God is omnipotent”  “God is not omnipotent”  “God is not not omnipotent.”

One of the surprises for me as I have explored these practices is the realization that there don’t seem to be any purely apophatic practices.  Some do not rely on words but skirt around the idea darkness.  Others (like today’s practice) rely heavily on words but use those words to bring us to the edges of these words’ meanings.  Our next practice is another one which uses words to transcend words.  After that, we will begin a journey back to the cataphatic.

Day 6 of the Lent Exploration

Below is the text from the 6th email in our 2019 Lenten exploration.  If you would like to see these in an email form, please use the contact form at the top of this page.

 

There are many reasons to explore the journey into darkness and wordlessness– the apophatic– at this time:
* Western spiritual traditions tend to be missing this aspect of spirituality, so it’s always a good area to revisit.
* It is the Winter.  In many ways this is the most apophatic of the seasons.  It is the time of cold and darkness.
* We are approaching the Friday when Jesus was crucified.  This is the most apophatic event in all of Christianity.
* Traditionally, Lent commemorates Jesus’ 40 days in the desert.   If we take a day-by-day approach to remembering this, if the beginning of lent marked Jesus’ first day in the desert, we would be nearing the middle of his fast.  There is not a record of the day by day events of this time, so anything we can say is speculative.  However, it would seem plausible that as Jesus got near the middle of this time, his mind set and experience grew increasingly cataphatic.  By engaging these practices, we experience the cataphatic with him.

Today’s practice is called Apophatic Meditation. Apaphatic Meditation is a challenging practice that some find challenging and others find deeply rewarding.  It is a three-step process.  Today we will try only the first two steps.  Our next email, which will go out Thursday or Friday will outline the final step.
This practice can be used in many different ways.  If statements like the ones I chose do not resonate with you, please check the section at the bottom of this email.  There, I have given some ways to modify it.  As always, I recommend you decide in advance how long you will commit to this practice and I encourage you to read through all of it before you begin.

Background: The first two steps (which are the only ones we are exploring today) are to make a statement about God and to then negate that statement.
For example, we might say “God is father.”  This is worth sayiing because In a certain way, it is true.  When we then say “God is not father.”  We are recognizing that there are also ways that this statement is not true.
I have stuck with the “name” God in this meditation.  And I have chosen some common phrases to apply to this word.  If either of these do not connect with you, I have offered a few words at the bottom of this page to help with modifying the language of this exercise.The Practice:
1.  Sit comfortably.
2.  Inhale, deeply.  Feel your belly expand.
3.  Exhale, deeply.  Feel your belly pull in toward your spine.
4.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is father.”
5.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not father.”
6.    With your next inhale, Think or say “God is mother”
7.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not mother.”
8.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is love.”
9.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not love”
10.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is a warrior”
11.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not a warrior.”
12.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is just..”
13.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not just.”
14.  With your next inhale, Think or say “God is in me.”
15.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not in me.”
16 With your next inhale, Think or say “God is outside of me.”
17.  With your next exhale, Think or say “God is not outside of me”
18.  You may wish to add your own.  Or repeat some, or all of these statements.  When you are ready, sit in worldess communion,
There are lots of reasons why the word “God” might not connect with you.  Some of these reasons are worth pushing through.  Others are not.  If you decide that you do not wish to use the word ‘God’ in this (or other) exercises, simply replace it.
Some times we reach a point where we do not have a word at all for what we mean.  There is a long history in several traditions around thinking of the truest name for God as a breath.  If this appeals to you, instead of thinking or saying ‘God’ you might breathe, knowing it is a name for God, and use words for the rest:  (breathe) is love/  (breathe) is not love, etc.

There are so many words which might come at the end of the phrases in this practice.  I chose ones that I often use.  These might not be good words for you to use.  If you choose different words to say that God is/ is not I would encourage you to think about them in advance, and to write them down.  It helps to use the same phrases a few times.  Especially as we move toward the final step of this exercise with the next email.  So it would be smart to put this list somewhere you can find when we do this exercise again.

You can help in turning The Faith-ing Project into a fully functioning community.  You can do this in several ways:

  • Share your thoughts, feelings, and criticism below in the comments.
  • email otherjeffcampbell7@gmail.com to share something directly with the Project’s Director, to join our next email campaign, or to ask to be placed on the mailing list.
  • Access exclusive content and help The Faithing Project share spiritual practices with a world in desperate need.  Become a  Patron.
  • follow @faithingproject on twitter.

5th Lent Email

Here is the audio file for todays exercise:

Modern Contemplatives have made a lot out of the idea of the true self and the false self.  Roughly speaking, the false self is the personality, which is understood to be an accumulation of the identities we adopt.  Primarily, this identity is an attempt to defend ourselves from hurt.
The true self is deep within and utterly unchangeable.  A contemplative practice gives us increasing glimpses of this aspect of ourselves.  Many within the Christian tradition consider this to be the image of God, the divine breath, and Christ within.
In today’s exercise you are invited to imagine that a teacher arrives to come and sit with you by the river.  For me, this teacher is Jesus.  Perhaps he is for you too.  Perhaps you don’t have a name or even a concept of what this teacher might be like.  Any and all of these, are, of course, fine.

Today’s Exercise

  1.  Relax.  Find your breath.
  2. Imagine a riverside scene.  Perhaps it is a place you have been.  Begin by seeing it in your mind’s eye.  
  3. Furnish additional sensory information.  What sounds are you hearing?  What smells are you smelling?  What is the temperature like?  
  4. There is a comfortable seat here.  With enough room for two.  See it in your mind’s eye.  Is it a park bench?  A rock shaped just so?
  5. Behold the river.  See how the gentle current moves the water out of your vision.  Observe the clear water with the leaves floating by.  Place your hand in it, if you like.  Feel it’s crisp coolness.
  6. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly.  As anything: feelings, memories, perception rise up to distract you from your breath, give them, gently to the river.  Feel it leave your body and place it on the river.
  7. When you reach a place of calm, a teacher walks calmly and quietly up to you.  He sits down next to you.  Sit next to this teacher.  Enjoy a companionable silence.
  8. When you are ready, consider a trivial portion of your identity.   Whatever that trivial aspect of your identity is, feel it coming out of your body.  The teacher is there to help you if you need it.  Together, you can give it up to the river.  Place it on the water and let the current carry it out of sight.
  9. With your next breath, consider what it is like to be freed of this aspect of your identity.  Note the teacher is still with you.  His feelings for you have not changed.
  10. Now, consider another aspect of your identity.  Perhaps it is a certain distant familial relationship like uncle or cousin.  Maybe it is a hobby you are very passionate about.  Feel it rising up and out of you.  Note how this feels.  With the teacher’s help,  give this part of yourself to the river, now.
  11. Experience life with out this fact about yourself.  Consider the ways you are changed.  As distracting thoughts and feelings arise, remember to give these to the river, too.
  12. Now, find something very important to you.  Perhaps it is a job, a title, or a degree.  Maybe it is your role within the family you live in (mother/father/ sister/daughter, etc…)  Give this role to the river as well.  The teacher continues to sit with you through this experience.
  13. Spend a breath experiencing yourself without this important role.
  14. Consider that there is something within you.  Explore who or what this is.  This is the self that the teacher knoiws is there; the part of you that the teacher has been speaking to.
  15. If it feels right, give additional aspects of your identity to the river.  Remember that the teacher is there to help.
  16. Give your name up to the river.  Feel it come unglued from you.  Hold it in your hands, with the teacher.  The two of you can put your name on one of the leaves together, and let the current carry it away.
  17. When you have given all the parts of yourself that you wish to, explore who you are, now.  Feel the teacher’s presence.  Perhaps he will say some things to you.  Maybe they are things that a teacher has said to you before.  Will you hear those word’s differently now?
  18. When you are ready, see yourself getting up from the riverside.
  19. Walk downriver.  Continue to not only see, but also hear and feel this world in your imagination.  Perhaps fifty feet down the river, you will find that a number of rocks and branches lie across the river, obstructing the flow.  
  20. As you walk among these, you will find that many of the parts of yourself that you gave to the river sit here, prevented from going to far away.  Consider each aspect of yourself.  The ones you wish for, you can have back.  Take them within you again.  As for the ones you don’t want?  Untether them from the rocks and branches.  Let them be washed free.

If you enjoyed today’s practice presented on an audiofile, you might be interested to explore the other audiofiles available to everyone by clicking here.  If you would like access to our full library of audio files, become a patron.

Today’s exercise is the last of the Riverside Meditations.  With our next email (on Tuesday or Wednesday) we will continue our journey into apophatic practices.

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4th Email Exploration for Lent

It’s kind of fascinating to me that Lent is meant to recall the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert.  Because the thing is, we know almost nothing about that the vast majority of that time.  Certainly, the face-off with Satan must have been a climax of that time.  But what about the rest of that time?
We are a week into Lent, more or less.  It leads me to wonder what it was like a week after Jesus stepped into the desert.  Like anybody, all I can do is guess.
One of my hopes is that these emails take us on a journey that has some paralells to Jesus.  Our first exercise was a bit of a microcosm of the whole cataphatic-apophatic spectrum.  And then we said, “Yes!”  and “Thank you.”  We begin in optimism and joy.  I suspect when he come out of his baptism, having heard God’s voice, Jesus began this way, too.
A few days fasting might have given him a clarity of purpose. In our most recent exercise,  when we placed the intrusive thoughts on that river in our imaginary, we might have experienced something distantly akin to Jesus’ single mindedness.
Today’s exercise has lots of similarities to that last exercise.  But takes us deeper into the apophatic.  It invites us to surrender more than just intrusive thoughts.   I believe that Jesus might also have been surrendering something deeper, about a week into his time in the desert.

Background: It seems that there is some immutable center to us.  This has been called the True Self.  It can be the work of a lifetime to get past the things that seem like such an important part of who we are.  Roles, titles, jobs, even callings…  These are often good things.  But they are not the most basic measure of who we are.

Today’s Exercise

  1.  Relax.  Find your breath.
  2. Imagine a riverside scene.  Perhaps it is a place you have been.
  3. Begin by seeing it in your mind’s eye.  Then locate yourself there.
  4. Furnish additional sensory information.  What sounds are you hearing?  What smells are you smelling?  What is the temperature like?  Are you sitting?  What does your seat feel like?
  5. Behold the river.  See how the gentle current moves the water out of your vision.
  6. Calm your mind.  As thoughts enter into your awareness, place them on the river.  Allow the river to carry them out of your perceptions.
  7. Continue to breathe deeply and slowly.  As anything: feelings, memories, perception rise up to distract you from your breath, give them, gently to the river.  Place them as you might put a leaf on the water, so gently to be sure it is floating in the cool water.
  8. When you are ready, consider a trivial portion of your identity.  Perhaps you are a football fan, or a lover of science fiction.  Whatever that trivial aspect of your identity is, give it up to the river.  Place it on the water and let the current carry it out of sight.
  9. With your next breath, consider what it is like to be freed of this aspect of your identity.
  10. Now, consider another aspect of your identity.  Perhaps it is a certain distant familial relationship like uncle or cousin.  Maybe it is a hobby you are very passionate about.  Give this part of yourself to the river, now.
  11. Experience life with out this fact about yourself.  Consider the ways you are changed.  As distracting thoughts and feelings arise, remember to give these to the river, too.
  12. Now, find something very important to you.  Perhaps it is a job, a title, or a degree.  Maybe it is your role within the family you live in (mother/father/ sister/daughter, etc…)  Give this role to the river as well.
  13. Spend a breath experiencing yourself without this important role.
  14. Consider that there is something within you.  Explore who or what this is.
  15. If it feels right, give additional aspects of your identity to the river.
  16. You might even give your name itself to the river.  
  17. When you have given all the parts of yourself that you wish to, explore who you are, now.  Consider your relationship with the divine.  Think about what is left of you.
  18. When you are ready, see yourself getting up from the riverside.
  19. Walk downriver.  Continue to not only see, but also hear and feel this world in your imagination.  Perhaps fifty feet down the river, you will find that a number of rocks and branches lie across the river, obstructing the flow.  
  20. As you walk among these, you will find that many of the parts of yourself that you gave to the river sit here, prevented from going to far away.  Consider each aspect of yourself. 
  21. The ones you wish for, you can have back.  Take them within you again.  As for the ones you don’t want?  Untether them from the rocks and branches.  Let them be washed free.

You can look forward to your next email Saturday morning.  I hope you will click here and share some about how this exploration is going for you.  I would like to really encourage you to commit yourself to some kind of contemplation every day.  It really does make a difference.  If a given day’s exercise is not working for you, you might go back to an early exercise.  You also can click here to go to the Faith-ing Project website and check out some other practices.

The Faith-ing Project is my labor of love.  It was born out of my realization that spiritual exercises can make life better… and in some ways, easier.  I am committed to creating an easily accessible resource that provides lots of options in one place for the spiritually hungry and curious.  It is a very important part of this vision that these practices are available to anyone who would like to access them, regardless of their financial situation.
However, making these practices available does carry some financial and time-related cost. I am excited to share that financially speaking, the project has almost paid for itself at this point.  I have a hope to go further, to improve the equipment used for audio recordings and access technical support to improve the reach, look, and feel of the website.
If you would like specific information about different ways that you can support the Faith-ing Project, please click here.

3rd Email in the Lent Apophatic/Cataphatic Exploration

If you would like to receive these Lenten explorations into the apophatic and cataphatic, please email otherjeffcampbell7@gmail.com  You will receive each email going forward.  You can find the past ones here.

I imagine there are 3 types of people participating in this email exploration:
The first is someone just interested in exploring a wide range of contemplative practices.
The second knew something about the cataphatic (light, joyous, explicable, word-dependent) and apophatic (dark, word-transcendent) and was interested in exploring this distinction further.
The third might have wanted to pursue this distinction through the lens of Jesus, Lent, and Easter.
Whoever you are and whatever your motives, I am glad to have you along.  I hope you will leave a comment on the website and share some more about why you are with us and what you are hoping to accomplish on these 40-ish days.
Today’s practice is the first real dipping of our toe into apophatic waters.  It is apophatic because it does not rely on words.  However, it is neutral on the question of how much we can know and on the values of the darkness.  For this reason, it is just a first step.
Several practices — including this one– are ones that we will return to: when we come back at them there will be subtle tweaks which alter where they fall on the apophatic/cataphatic spectrum.

Background: The novel ‘Illusions: Adventures of the Reluctant Messiah’ has a pretty amazing scene.  The protagonist is told to use the power of his mind to eliminate a group of clouds on the horizon.  He spends the afternoon turning the whole of his will to the task.  And he is thoroughly unsuccessful.

The man’s mentor explains that the main character is entirely to emotionally wrapped up in the task to have ever been able to eliminate him.  He would have done far better to withdraw his energies from the clouds than to invest himself.

This is a useful story.  Sometimes, as we try to overcome our thoughts and feelings we develop such an intensity that we will never be free from them.  Imagining that we are at a riverside, and seeing them all float by is a useful way to release these, to overcome our attachment to these distractions.

Spiritual Exercise

1.  Breathe.  

2.  Imagine that you are sitting by the side of a river.  Picture the temperature and the sounds and the smells.  Smell the air.  Furnish a picture in your mind of what it looks like.  

3.  As best you can, clear your mind.  Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.

4.  Thoughts, feelings, and memories will arise.  When they do, place them gently on the river.  Perhaps on a leaf that is floating by.   Allow them to be carried away by the current.

5.  Return to your breath.

Sometimes, I engage in my spiritual practices and I leave a window with social media open.  Or I have my phone on vibrate so I know if a text comes in.  I tell myself I do this accidentally.  I partially believe myself.
I am increasingly convinced that this is not real meditation.  This is just finding a way to pass the time while I am waiting for somebody to respond to my latest facebook status update.  I am working really hard at holding myself accountable around really creating a sacred space for myself, set apart from the rest of my life.  I encourage you to do the same.

Due to an oversight by me, there was no way to make any comments even if you followed the link provided.  I hope that this won’t squash your desire to connect with the other folks receiving these emails.  I think we really can spur each other on toward real growth.  Just knowing that there are other real, live human beings with some of the same struggles and victories is a really important thing.  Right here is a link to the overview page for this email exploration.  Though you can’t comment on this page, there are links to each days.  Each day other than the first does have a comment section.  After you engage in this practice, I really want to encourage you to head over, click on the link for the 3rd email, and introduce yourself.  Tell us how these practices are going.  And …. introduce yourself by sharing a guilty pleasure.  I will go first.  So if you head over there now, you will find out something mildly juicy about me.

Second email in the Lenten Apophatic/ Cataphatic Exploration

Every 3 days or so, we are exploring the distance between the apophatic and cataphatic through the lens of Lent via email.  If you would like to sign up for the rest of the series, email otherjeffcampbell7@gmail.com or use the contact form at the top of this page.

Here is the second email in the series:

Lent is a remembrance of Jesus time in the desert.  Though he will eventually fast for 40 days and face of with the personification of evil, when it began he was fresh out of his baptism.  They had heard the voice of God and seen a dove-like spirit descend.  It was a time of light and optimism, a time where words could easily express the things that were going on.
In recognition of this, we are beginning this Email Exploration focused on the Cataphatic: the light-filled, the joyous, that which can be expressed in words.
Today’s practice comes out of Buddhist Traditions.  It is practiced in that context as a walking meditation; a time to notice and affirm all that is around.  Here, it is expressed as a sitting contemplation.  Though I encourage you to try it in other contexts.

Place your feet flat on the floor.  

2.  Breathe deeply, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

3.  When you are ready to begin, with the inhale, think “Yes.  Yes.  Yes.”  With the exhale, think, “Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.”  Devote most of your practice today to this step.

4.  Spend some time thinking about what you have in your life to say “Thank you for.”  Consider the things you might be saying “Yes.” To.

5.  When you are ready, release all these words.  Spend some time in wordless union.

There is a lot to be gained by deciding, in advance, how long you will devote to your spiritual practice each day.  Committing to a set time– even if it is just 5 or 10 minutes a day, is a powerful investment in yourself.  Timers on phones– or even ovens– are a great place to start.  Apps such as the insight meditation timer are even better.  They can be set to periodically chime so that we know how long we have been at it.
One of the most significant (and surprising) benefits of sticking with your practice for a set time is that lots of important soul “work” happens when things begin to get difficult.  If I have not made the plan to keep going, I am likely to quit just as things get hard.  To continue through these difficult patches is where the real growth occurs

In some ways, today’s practice is the most Cataphatic of all the practices we will engage in over this Email Exploration.  Through out the season of Lent, you can look forward to a new email about every 2 or 3 days. It is highly recommended that you engage these practices each day.  However, if a given practice is not resonating with you, you might try repeating a practice from earlier in this Email Exploration.
The next email will be on its way Monday Morning.  Though the next practice is also very light and word-dependent, it will begin to lay some groundwork for more apaphatic practices.